There were the so-called ``friends`` who called when they wanted some-thing but were not available if needed to talk.
ow don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of the accouterments of the day as much as the next woman, but I have grown to under-stand that we as individuals must write our own definitions of Valentine’s Day.
Music Icon, Tina Turner asked, “what’s love got to do with it?” Well, that depends on who’s asking. Love has nothing to do with it if we are dependent on other humans to provide unconditional and consistent love. Or love could have everything to do with it if we are focused first on self-love. We must first love ourselves to be able to love others.
I, like many of you, was raised to believe it is selfish to focus on self, to focus on me. It has only been recently, in the last five years, that I have realized how mis-informed I was. My performance coach often describes himself as selfish. He ex-plained that, in most cases, the first con-cerned with what he wants. I am okay with getting what I want, he says. When I first heard his bold declaration, “I am selfish,”
I thought, wow, that’s good to know be-cause I felt that his statement was a warn-ing that he did not care about anyone or anything else. Admittedly, I was a little of-fended by that statement and thought it was arrogance. However, over time I began to reflect on my life’s experiences at home and the office and began to understand better what he meant I have learned that regardless of how other people feel about me, if I don’t love me, what difference does it make. Our priority should be to love our-selves.
Self-love is not just important; it’s a priority. What am I eating? How much sleep am I getting? Do I use the right products on my face and skin? Do I exercise? Am I involved in lifelong study? Meditation? Do I know what I want? Do I know what I don’t want? Most of us live our lives according to what other people want. We allow other people to decide what’s beautiful. We allow other people to determine what’s valuable? We even decide other people to determine what love is, who we should love, and what
love should mean to us.
I remember when my phone used to ring off the hook. My nights and weekends were filled with events, meetings, people, parties, stuff. I did not love it I gave un-til there was presumably nothing left. The free red velvet cakes – not anymore. At-tending the never-ending string of events honoring people who thought more of themselves than they should – not going anymore. There were the so-called “friends” who called when they wanted something but were not available if needed to talk.
My trainer often says, “If you look in the mirror and like what you see, keep doing what you are doing. If you look in the mir-ror and don’t like what you see, then you need to make changes immediately.” Well, let’s just say there was a time that when I looked in the mirror and did not like what I saw. I decided to make changes. I sepa-rated myself from people and things that did not increase me, support me, or un-derstand me. I adopted the slogan – I do not want to be tolerated but celebrated.
I began disconnecting myself from ener-gy draws. In isolation and separation, I was able to find clarity. In my solitude, I found peace, joy, and, most of all, love for me. These are fruits of the Spirit. I always knew God loves me, and most of my family loves me, but I focused on being loved by me. While I know this is a day for lovers; a time for romance where you and your plus one, your boo, your partner, your mate – to cel-ebrate the love you share for one anoth-er, but to my Game Changers, you know that before you can be someone else’s Val-entine, you must first be in love with you. Game changers, On February 14th, 2020, once you rise to meet your purpose and prepare to live out potential on your terms, look in the mirror and be the first wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love, Jo Anne S CEO, Game Changer Foundation